Everybody’s a Fitness Guru

Okay. I get it. You lost 15 pounds after doing Boot Camp and now you know everything about exercise and nutrition. Please, enlighten me with your vast knowledge that you acquired in four weeks. Oh? I should eat more fruits and vegetables and cut out processed foods? Why haven’t the scientists thought of this?! Please, do try to sell me your overpriced energy drinks and protein powder.

It seems like everybody and their cat is suddenly a fitness and nutrition expert. Every week someone else has created a facebook page about their new found expertise or taken an online course to be a certified fitness trainer. Taking a couple fitness classes at the gym doesn’t make you a fitness expert anymore than trimming my cat’s nails makes me a veterinarian. Calling yourself that only diminishes the hard work and time real personal trainers and Registered Dietitians put into their careers.

Which brings me to another point, reading the latest fad diet book doesn’t make you an expert in nutrition. Neither does getting a “degree” from an un-certified school of holistic nutrition. (I’m looking at you Daphne Oz.) Please stop talking about how much you love quinoa and butternut squash. Just eat your fucking vegetables. I really don’t care about how you think the Paleo diet resembles what our ancestors ate. I don’t remember my anthropology professors talking about hunters and gatherers stopping at Whole Foods after a long hunt, but it’s possible I skipped class that day.

So, please stop. You are not an expert. You are googleing everything just like everybody else. Leave your advice for your cats. They’re lazy fucks anyway.




4 thoughts on “Everybody’s a Fitness Guru

    • Congrats on the weight loss! I’m not trying to undermine your accomplishments in any way through my post. I just know some people who act like they’ve uncovered the secrets of the world after losing 5 lbs. 🙂

      • I know you wasn’t 🙂 Its my dry humour some don’t get it….sometimes I don’t. I know I have met them, they go to the bathroom, poo then they celebrate because they have lost 1/2 lb, with a cream cake. But in my case it was lose it or die decisions, decisions 🙂

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