This election season has been one hell of a ride. I don’t think anyone could have predicted the shenanigans that have taken place. To take your mind off of the chaos, I came up with playlists tailored to each main candidate (except Kasich, because who the hell knows anything about him really). Listen at your … Continue reading
Dearest Joe, I have a proposition and I need you to read this very carefully. Find yourself in the tea garden behind the White House at 3AM, wearing a crown of flowers and nothing else. I’ll be the one wearing the white Marilyn halter-dress with zombie apocalyptic makeup delicately painted over my glowing face. Bring … Continue reading
I was having a great day until this popped up in my news feed. (For those too lazy to read it, a rich girl in NYC wants poor people to stop chastising her for being wealthy.) Please tell me more about how terrible it is to be a rich white girl. Being wealthy isn’t the … Continue reading
My cats are starting to get too cocky, and it’s about time to bring them down a notch. Continue reading
Source: www.eonline.com Disclaimer: I wrote this post before I heard about Miley Cyrus making some semi-racist comments. In her defense she doesn’t think before she talks and it would probably make it worse if she did. It’s official. Congress is somehow more popular than Miley Cyrus. Is this really possible? Congress has shutdown the government for almost … Continue reading
This is especially demeaning if your cat is actually a wizard that’s been trapped inside a cat’s body for hundreds of years. Every time your cat meows in protest, remind him that he’s the laughing stock of the court. Because WTF. Make sure she’s used the litter box recently or else this story won’t have … Continue reading
Whenever I’m having a bad day I like to post blame to the source of all my troubles: Obamacare. My cat has developed a tendency to shit by the front door. I blame Obamacare. When Bush was president, she was Hannah Montana. THANKS Obama. My bike has a flat tire and is leaking rust. Fucking … Continue reading
Okay. I get it. You lost 15 pounds after doing Boot Camp and now you know everything about exercise and nutrition. Please, enlighten me with your vast knowledge that you acquired in four weeks. Oh? I should eat more fruits and vegetables and cut out processed foods? Why haven’t the scientists thought of this?! Please, … Continue reading
Menstruation Nation. 